Love me, hate me, read this post, don’t read the post, delete my page, I honestly don’t care, I’m done biting my tongue to protect other people’s precious feelings…..!
For 12-13 years I’ve been helping/mentoring injured people as well as their families and friends, I never did it for any other reason but to help them, everyone around them and to give hope, I don’t want another injured person to feel alone, I’ve watched people fade away and die, suicide, give up, I don’t want to see that again, I know I can’t save the world but if I can save a few I will…..!
99.99% of the time the injured person and everyone around them wants me there every day/night, either in person or on the phone, my phone is never off, my mum, my wife and I have never turn anyone away, we’ve never ever asked to be paid when I go to hospitals, homes, I’ve been on phone calls for up to 4 hours, putting aside my plans, my life, just to support the ones who need me, phone calls till 4am isn’t unusual, all the time we are doing this because we care, because we’ve lived it and continue to live it….
Once the first few “scary” weeks are gone so am I, I’m ok with that but I’m also not disposable, same goes for mum and Amelia, there are a small few who still talk most weeks, years down the track but 99.99% just toss me and my knowledge to the side, UNTIL they need me again, need me to help promote their fundraiser’s, getting auction items, their rehabs, sending people to the right places, making rehabs thousands of dollars and never asking for a cent, only wanting people to be safe and be in a safe environment….!
The amount of times I’ve had the sentence, “agh you don’t understand, you’re lucky, you walked 4 months later”….. THAT is the biggest punch to my face…. Yes I “walked a few steps” but it took me 3 years to Ditch that chair, I live this injury every day, I just chose not to sook Or focus on the pain, when my bladder shuts down, if I shit for up to 2 hours a day because my bowls are still fucked, the sleepless nights because my body’s on fire, the more I train the more pain I wake up, the 2 hours it takes for me to take a few steps every morning, having to crawl on my hands and knees to the toilet 2-3 times a night because my legs won’t work, I chose not to talk about this or the fact my hands take till lunch time to work…. I really don’t care if people hate me for this but my life would be less painful if I just went back to a chair but I chose this way because I can and also because I don’t take what I have for granted, I work my fucking arse off every day for 14 years straight, I’m tired, I’m broke, I’m down most days mentally and physically but when someone needs me I snap out of it…. I have no bigger joy than to talk to people, motivate them, my biggest joy is to give back to our future leaders, I’m appreciated the most from schools and corporates who hire me to come in….. In the spinal cord injury community I’ve been barred from rehabs because I give people “false hope”… People in chairs look at me like I’m “impossible”…. I’m not impossible, you just have to believe in yourself, I’m not talking about thinking it, I’m talking about seeing no other option and BELIEVING to get better, to fight every second of everyday and not knowing what the next will bring… When I get told I don’t understand I could seriously slap the person, I understand more than anyone…. Yeh I walk but I seem to be punished because I can by the SCI community, now I’m not saying everyone is like that but 99.99% are… At the start their not but after a few weeks they are…. No one is better than the next, this isn’t a fucking competition…. Every person, rehab I’ve helped is genuine but after recent occasions and especially Goldie falling through I’m done….. I will never turn away from a fresh injured person…. But dammed if I help another rehab or fundraiser by getting donations to raise others money or promoting their company….. I’m forced to charge for mentoring now because we have nothing left, as soon as I put a price on help (so I can keep a roof over our head) you run to the hills, you all want free help…. We never got free help, its cost my mum 1.6 million to date…. So sit back and put yourself in our shoes….. My Chiropractor mum and Amelia have an amazing place to truly help…. But does anyone care…? No!!! They all want the quick answer or the latest “cool” trend….. You want to maintain what you get back then you have to do the hard yards and sometimes the things that don’t feel like they are working, truly are, you just don’t realize till you stop doing it….. There are still some who see my value and are happy to support what I do while I support them….. I’m just done with the leaches and people who want everything from me for nothing…. My life and my knowledge won’t be wasted or taken for granted, my calling is motivational talks, schools and corporate s are where I’ll be if you need me…. I will continue this page and hopefully keep inspiring but I’m tired, angry and need to speak up…. I’m not being me if I don’t say how I feel…. JW
